Summary: After Leslie LaChance and her husband planned ahead to be buried at Larkspur, she began volunteering at burials to assist Larkspur with our mission. Read about Leslie’s volunteering experience, and why it affirmed her decision to plan ahead with us.
*This blog is a continuation of the story of Leslie LaChance, a cancer survivor who has planned ahead to be buried at Larkspur. For more background information on Leslie’s story, please read the blog posted before this one titled, “A Commitment to Something Bigger: The Big Magic of Natural Burial.”
Once she took the tour and finalized her natural burial plans with Larkspur, Leslie LaChance knew she wanted to be more involved with our work and contribute towards our mission alongside staff. She began to volunteer with us, and experienced her first funeral in the fall of 2021. Leslie says, “volunteering became a way for me to go out to Taylor Hollow and walk around in that beautiful place… I got to meet other volunteers with their own love of the land and their own expertise. It’s an exciting way we get to learn from one another.” Leslie began to assist with burials and the more she volunteered, the more her time with Larkspur exceeded her expectations of the experience.
When planning ahead for herself, Larkspur staff had walked Leslie through the step by step process of what happens at a burial, so she was prepared with her hiking boots, with her wardrobe, and to stay present in the moment. What was unexpected for Leslie was the intensity of the beauty of that moment. She says she expected the burial to be special, but she had been to so many other conventional funerals that felt forced and flat and mechanical that there was a ceiling or limit to what was possible. What exceeded her expectations was that even as a volunteer, “you become very much a part of the atmosphere of the burial.” She never felt like she was standing back and watching like a spectator. She felt like she was waiting, patiently listening for when she was needed. She never felt detached, but instead became part of the burial without imposing on the family.
She loved seeing how the family didn’t feel rushed by staff. That no one was on the clock or watching their watch. The most important thing was the family was able to sit with their grief for as long as they needed. She says, “TIME STOPPED. It didn’t matter.” Everyone was all together, telling stories, crying, laughing, singing songs, and somehow everything unfolded very organically and everyone knew when the time had come to lay the dead to rest.
Staff and volunteers gathered around, and the family was able to lower him into the grave with a little bit of assistance. Then everyone shoveled together. When someone got tired they passed the shovel to the next person, and the next person after that. It was a communal and physical act of care. Leslie shared, “you could see the mound of soil getting smaller and smaller and smaller, before finally pushing the top soil onto the grave. They then decorated it with pine needles, soil, and tree branches. They placed the medallion with the deceased’s name on it so they could go back and find the space. The family stayed and prayed and sang, and finally made their way out of the woods.” They took their time with each and every step.
She doesn’t remember how long that first burial took, but she does remember the timing felt natural and right. It was apparent to her the family was sad to lose this person they loved, but they also seemed at peace. To Leslie it was the most respectful and kind approach to death and loss that she had ever seen. She describes the experience at Taylor Hollow as incredibly restorative—holy.
Leslie has now assisted with three burials and says her favorite part of volunteering is watching the way everyone shirks what they think a burial should be like, and just lets themselves be in the moment. She’s seen ministers throw their robes in the bushes and grab a shovel; she’s seen musicians hired to play graveside put down their instruments to help fill a grave; she’s seen children learn about the experience of death, grief, and natural burial through the burial experience. She’s witnessed families learn funerals can be transformative experiences for everyone involved. Instead of an event people don’t want to remember, the burial becomes a memorable, intergenerational act of community care.
Larkspur’s mission is to cultivate this kind of intentional, transformative experience. Leslie and others choose to volunteer with us because they want to be part of that transformation. At Larkspur, we believe grief becomes life-affirming when shoveling at a grave, it is a final act of care for someone you love most. If you’d like to learn more about how to plan ahead with us, or how to volunteer with the many needs Larkspur has, please contact us. We’d love to speak with you about our mission.