I shared with them how I spent around 15 years in the funeral business. I lived upstairs at the funeral home in my hometown of Camden, Tennessee where all of my family had been “laid out.” I would spend many days there caring for friends, both living and deceased. Living in a small town funeral home was like living in a time capsule. It was like being in a library without any books. The stories echoed in the air and down the halls. I eventually got used to the creaks and bumps in the night. The work would move me to Dickson, and then Nashville. I had culture shock. In the small towns where I first started everyone knew when someone died, but in the bigger city, people didn’t realize the loss of community members in the same way. Death was almost anonymous. 15 years working with death can teach you many things; some of which you are forever grateful for, and others you wish you could forget.
It was September of 2012 when I made a leap of faith and walked away from the friends and families I had at the funeral home, but a part of me knew I wasn’t leaving it all behind. My sabbatical lasted only a few months. I took a train across the country from Memphis to Chicago, Minneapolis, Seattle, San Francisco, L.A. and stopped in every small town in between to seek out what people really think about and want in death. Each stop helped me shed an industry hardened skin.
Before boarding the train, I directed one of the largest most opulent funerals in my career. Rev. Becca Stevens was there to perform the burial rite and cast soil over the vaulted casket in traditional “dust to dust” liturgy. In the Spring of 2013 she reached out to talk to me about making that ancient teaching real. I was fresh off my trip with a lengthy list of goals, and the creation of a natural burial ground was one of them. Quickly, Becca enlisted Don Welch, Tara Armistead, and Gina Hancock to create the nonprofit. I continued my days at White’s Mercantile making ends meet, and giving everything I had as the volunteer Executive Director for Larkspur. A core of early supporters assembled, and Larkspur was gaining ground. After countless conversations, hikes across untamed land, thunderstorms, and blessings in what some have called a “confluence of fortuitous circumstances,” Larkspur Conservation at Taylor Hollow officially opened in September of 2018 as a nature preserve for natural burial.
All along the way Orion and Rebekah were there to capture the behind the scenes challenges, obstacles, tears, and cheers. Orion helped with our first burial, and as a filmmaker was able to see the whole process from vision to reality. They have become friends that continue to challenge me, and in turn, they have made me a better person.
It was a challenge for me to open up about my experiences within the industry and my leap of faith. I have never been a fan of hearing myself talk, and was always taught not to make things about myself and to be polite. When Orion encouraged me to speak my mind about my journey and the growth of Larkspur, I had to begin with the truth.
Everyone is going to die. Our decisions affect our friends and neighbors and the planet we all live on.
Death is often traumatic. In a world where we fight it tooth and nail, it’s no wonder so many emotions arise when death comes around. I try to tell myself in difficult situations to lean in with love — lean in with love. How can we (the industry and the consumer) have a good experience in the process and not harm the planet? It all came down to how I could give, rather than how could I benefit. One of many post-it-notes on my desk reads, “I am not here to take from the world, but to give.” I hope that has shown up in the film, in Larkspur, and in my relationship with death.
”Bury Me At Taylor Hollow” was awarded Best Tennessee Documentary Short and the Audience Award at the 2020 Nashville Film Festival. The film will continue to be shown at festivals around the country and reach far beyond its Tennessee home.
Thank you to Orion and Rebekah for serving as the repository that captured these moments now memories for all to see. Thank you to Becca Stevens, Don Welch and all of the Larkspur Board and family for giving me a platform to do my heart’s work. David, thanks for being my partner, it’s made all the difference! To my friends who have been my (and Larkspur’s) champions thanks for all the late night pep talks. To all the families that have journeyed to Larkspur, you played the biggest part, and I am so humbled. Mom and Dad, this is all because of you.