Summary:
At first the Wilson family thought cremation was the right choice for their father James. It was the most obvious alternative to conventional burial, and they knew their dad didn’t want that.
Read how they learned about Larkspur and made the switch to natural burial.
Decisions around what to do with your loved one at the end of life are never easy. It’s hard because there are many different things someone can do with their body when they die, and there’s no one right way for everyone. We know conversations about what to do when someone dies are often wrought with conflicting feelings. When we don’t know what someone wanted, it’s hard to feel sure that we’re doing the right thing. We believe this is why it’s so deeply important to talk to the people around you about what’s most meaningful to you and what you want. But you can’t make an informed decision if you’re not informed. That’s why we recommend talking with professionals who can show the options you have; someone who can educate you on your choices and guide you with kindness and compassion in what might be one of the hardest decisions of your life.
One Larkspur family’s story of decision making that sticks out in our minds is the story of the Wilson family. After the death of their beloved patriarch the Wilson’s reached out to our dear friend, Christopher Taylor, who has been a licensed funeral director for 30 years. In that time he’s experienced almost every kind of family situation you could imagine. When the Wilson family came to him, he used the kind of care and compassion one would hope to encounter with the death of a loved one. He listened, he educated, and he gave them space to explore all their options before they made their decision.
At first the Wilson family thought cremation was the right choice for their father James. It was the most obvious alternative to conventional burial, and they knew their dad didn’t want that. The natural world had always been important to him. He had built his career at the Georgia Wildlife Federation. He was a passionate environmentalist and cared deeply for the planet. As Christopher listened to the Wilsons share stories about their dad, a light went off in his head. Larkspur jumped to mind immediately. This family didn’t actually want cremation, they just didn’t know what else they could do. Christopher showed the Wilsons the Larkspur website and connected them with us so we could talk and learn more about their specific wants and needs. They agreed—a green burial seemed like the perfect choice for their dad.
Not only was the ethic of green burial in line with their values, but the Wilsons were grateful they were able to participate more in the process. The same thing spoke to Christopher too:
“I believe in the power of ceremony, and I was transformed by Larkspur the first time I went to visit… I look at pictures of some family funerals, and I see death. Not that conventional burial is bad, it’s what some families need and I’m glad I can give them what they need at that moment. But I look at pictures of being out at Larkspur; the shrouded body, the American flag on the veteran’s handmade coffin among the wildflowers. I look at something holding physical remains, but I’m not seeing death. I’m seeing life.”
This family knew they wanted a ceremony that was spiritually fulfilling and in line with the values their dad had instilled in them, but didn’t know it existed. We hear this often when we meet with people, and we empathize. We know how overwhelming it can be to research available options in the middle of grief, which is why we always recommend planning ahead. But we also know that’s not always an option. It’s why we are grateful for funeral directors like Christopher who always meet a family where they are, listen to them, and share all the choices available. Listening to what the Wilsons didn’t want helped Christopher know what to offer: a choice that already existed and would meet their needs.
If you’d like to learn more about natural burial or why Larkspur might be a good choice for you and your family, please contact us. We’d love to speak with you about the many ways Larkspur can serve you best.