Summary: Wondering what to bring to a natural burial? We’ve made a list of a few helpful items that will ease your experience: water, comfortable clothes, flowers, and making sure your body is comfortable before arriving at the cemetery.
For many people, attending a natural burial is a totally new experience. It’s a physical ritual that might feel new, but returns to old principles people have used to bury their loved ones for thousands of years. It is a conscious choice more and more people are making every day. Conservation burial efforts (like ours) ensure natural burials occur in a totally wild and free space—a space that feels like you might see on an afternoon hike, rather than rows of tombstones at a conventional cemetery. The natural burial process is based on communal labor, care, and participation.
So what does that mean for attendees? How should they get ready? When preparing for a natural burial there are a few important things to remember. We’ve compiled a few easy tips to help you get ready for your first experience with a natural burial, as well as a few helpful things to bring along with you:
1) Water
We cannot stress this enough to folks in the heart of grief: you must take care of yourself in order to take care of your loved one who is deceased. While Larkspur does provide water around the graveside in the form of a sports cooler and biodegradable cups, it is necessary to stay hydrated throughout the burial process. We suggest bringing a water bottle or Nalgene with you to stay prepared. Tears can dehydrate even the healthiest person. By bringing water with you, you give yourself the opportunity to stop and take a few sips during the memorial hike to the graveside, or give yourself a moment to rest during the process of filling the grave. Drinking water is a small act of kindness and self-care in a moment when you might need it most. It’s a way we can say “thank you” to our bodies as we move through the grief process when laying our loved ones back to rest in the earth.
2) Flowers
Flowers and funerals are as synonymous as peanut butter and jelly. Bringing flowers to a natural burial is a great way to express love for the deceased, as well as show sympathy for remaining family members who survive them. Both loose flowers as well as bouquets are a beautiful way to represent how much someone meant to you, and can be a colorful way to bring light to others during a difficult time. It’s normal in the throes of grief to have a hard time articulating our feelings. When you bring flowers to a natural burial you can articulate those feelings physically instead of verbally. Using flowers to decorate the top of the grave or placing long stems towards the sun around the grave can be a way to show care towards the people we love. We encourage folks to bring flowers to burials because they are an important part of the grieving process. Flowers have always been, and may always be, a beautiful way to honor the dead.
3) Appropriate Clothing and Good Shoes
Whoever said you have to be uncomfy at a funeral lied. In fact, we believe it’s important to wear whatever works best for you as you experience the burial process. Before each burial we make sure to tell families not to dress for a conventional funeral. Forget those stuffy, stiff suits and uncomfortable heels, and instead come to the preserve dressed for a seasonal hike. In fact, we usually suggest folks wear something they might not mind getting dirty. We encourage folks to wear whatever they find most comfortable because, after all, this is a physical experience for most attendees and you might leave with a little dirt on your sleeve. Jeans, yoga, or hiking pants are all great options, as well as seasonally appropriate shirts, such as a flannel for fall or a comfy t-shirt for warmer weather. Bringing a hat is always a good call to shield your face from the sun and keep your head protected from the smaller critters of the forest like ticks.
While all this is important to keep in mind while preparing for a natural burial, the most important thing to bring/wear, however, is good, comfortable shoes. At Taylor Hollow, the memorial hike up to the burial site is about a quarter of a mile, so good walking shoes and comfortable socks are an absolute must on our “what to wear” list.
4) Use Bathroom Ahead of Time
Last, but certainly not least on our list of what to bring and do in preparation for a natural burial is this: use the bathroom ahead of time! Most conservation cemeteries (like ours) keep their land completely wild and free, without invasive buildings and modern conveniences. This means no bathrooms and no indoor plumbing. At Larkspur, we have a compostable outhouse, but it is usually reserved for emergency bathroom use only. By using the facilities before arriving at the cemetery, you are giving your body the care it needs before engaging in the cathartic process of natural burial. It’s an easy way to make sure you can take care of yourself, before taking the time and care to lay a beloved to rest.
If you’d like to take a tour of the cemetery with our staff, you can use this link to sign up for a tour. For information about planning your individual visit to Larkspur, check out our Directions and Visitor Guide page.